Girl to class: "I hate it when guys say they're gonna pull out and then they don't."

NOTE: This blog originally appeared on December 4, 2006

WARNING! - Possible conservative attitudes portrayed ahead!!!

Read the title of this blog... ok, now I'll explain.

So I got invited to attend a Public Relations class at San Jose State this afternoon. It was a battle of the sexes discussion in class, with males offering their likes and dislikes regarding women, and the girls turning the tables with their own suggestions for the boys.

It started out innocently enough.

"I like it when guys open the door for you," one girl said.

That's nice, chivalry might not be dead after all.

"I like how girls smell," one bearded young man said.

Hmm, yeah I'll agree, girls tend to smell nice.

"This might sound bad...," one girl began. Hmmm. "...but... ( Uh oh.) ...I hate it when you fool around with a friend, and he thinks it’s something more than it is."

Annnd here we go. There was pretty much no turning back once sex became the official topic of discussion. As both sides tended to fire off their pros and cons about the opposite sex. Emphasis on SEX.

"I hate it when a guy gets sex on the first date but doesn't call you the next day. What's up with that?" asks a blonde girl.

Perhaps too much info, but come on, we're all adults here, right?

"I also hate it when a guy pretends to put on a condom right before sex," chimes in a brunette.

Umm...

"I hate it when guys say they're gonna pull out and then they don't," she continues. Riiiight. Well, I hate to rush to judge, but if her goal was to make everyone in that class proud of her for being vocal about her sex life, she did it.

At least she was basically alone on this. Right?

"Yeah, what's up with not pulling out," another girl says.

Do you two know each other? Anyways, the professor was extremely tongue-in-cheek about the whole process, but she never resisted throwing in a sexual comment.

On the subject of girls taking too long to get ready: "Guys, once a girl is married, that won't happen. She will be able to take a shower, do her hair and make up, get dressed, and whack her husband off, all in 15 minutes," she said.

I'm no saint. By no means. But was she done interjecting with her wit? By no means.

One girl brought up the subject of female orgasms.

"Why don't you guys let US finish?" she basically pleaded.

Prof. Sex interjects: "Yeah guys. Just because you are limp, doesn't mean you're not getting us off. You've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 - 10 fingers! - to help us out with that."

Hahahaha... I laughed progressively less and less, by the way.

The subject turned to hygiene. Far away from sex, right?

"Why do we have to go down on you, but you won't go down on us?" one girl says, followed by a small chorus of cheers.

"Because," retorts one of the guys. "First you gotta clean your situation down there first."

At this point, "Professor G-Spot" interrupts again. "All right, I think we should all take a bath... together! And show one another our techniques," she says proudly.

As funny as this class was (and it was), I at least need a shower after it.

And no, not a cold shower.